Here are revisions to an email that I received =

Women often ask for a concise definition of "Marketing."
Well ladies, here it is - laid (hmmm pun there) out to make it easy to relate to:

1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up
to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
         That's Direct Marketing.

2. For parties you dress in the shortest see-thru dress, no underwear,
spiked heels and get dropped off so you can walk to the party.
         That's Advertising.  

3. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's
fantastic in bed."
        That's Promoting

4. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic
in bed"
       That's Telemarketing.

5. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up
to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten
his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the
way, I'm fantastic in bed."
             That's Public Relations.

6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and
says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
        That's Brand Recognition.

7. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you
talk him into going home with your friend.
         That's a Sales Rep.

8. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
         That's Tech Support.

9. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing., so you climb onto
the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your
lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
        That's Junk Mail.

10. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs
your  fanny.
         That's Market Response..

11. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you
were offended so wants to sue.
          That's a press release.  

12. Three best marketing strategies (in the order of cost)
Telephone
Television
Tell-a-women